Gift for grandparents who have everything: tips for their wishlist

Dear peers, you know the routine. Saint Nicholas or Christmas is coming up, and the grandchildren start insisting: grandpa, grandma, what is actually on your list?

I then sigh deeply and look around the living room. The cupboards are overflowing, I have enough tableware to feed an orphanage, and if I get one more scarf, I can open a textile shop. Oh child, I then say, don't bother. That you are here, that is my greatest gift.

And I mean that. Really. Health and coziness, it doesn't need to be more than that. But I notice that answer doesn't work. I see the despair in the eyes of my daughter-in-law and the grandchildren. They want to give something, they want to show their affection with a present. By saying that I "need nothing," I am actually only causing them stress.

Oh well then. I have decided to put my stubbornness aside and tackle that list after all. But how do you do that when you already have everything, and that modern technology occasionally makes your head spin? Here are my findings, from grandpa to grandpa.

What do you ask for when the cupboards are already full?

The problem is not that we want nothing, but that we don't want any more junk. I am not waiting for trinkets to gather dust. The trick I have learned: don't ask for things, ask for moments or a little luxury. I have divided my wishes into three kinds.

Things that are consumed

I find this the best category: I enjoy it and afterwards it is gone, no full cupboard. A bottle of truly good wine (or a nice advocaat) that I would never treat myself to at the supermarket. A nice shower gel or bath oil from a brand that smells wonderful. Or a basket full of goodies: that special stinky cheese, pralines from the real chocolatier, good coffee beans. That makes me happier than a figurine for on the windowsill.

The luxury version of the everyday

Take a critical look around. My toaster still works, but it rattles on all sides, and my towels feel a bit harsh after ten years. Just ask for a better version of something you use every day: new, thick bath towels, a sharp paring knife that is a relief in the kitchen, or warm house socks with an anti-slip sole. It sounds like a cliché gift for the elderly, but darn it, they do keep you nice and warm.

Time and help

My favorite. I don't ask the grandchildren for things that cost money, but a voucher for their time. An afternoon together to the garden center, with a sandwich in the restaurant included. A chores card: cleaning the windows three times or getting the garden ready for winter. Or simply help with the computer and that cursed smartphone — more on that shortly.

And then that hassle with that phone

In the past I used to write my wishes on the back of an envelope. That would then get lost, or only one aunt had the list, resulting in me getting the same book about the war three times.

Nowadays everything goes digital. The family group on the phone explodes with links from stores I've never heard of. Grandpa, just send your list over! they shout. I find that difficult. That screen is small, my fingers are sometimes a bit stiff, and before I know it I've accidentally ordered something instead of putting it on a list. It all goes just a bit too fast for me.

The solution: outsource it

My grandson pointed me to Kerstlijst.be, a website for lists. Handy, grandpa, he said, because then everyone sees what has already been bought, except you. So you never get duplicate things again. That sounded wonderful, but I didn't see myself logging into that just yet.

Then he gave me the golden tip that I am now passing on to you: delegate. I simply invited him over for coffee, with a cookie on the side, that helps. Boy, I said, you're handy with those things, will you just create that list for me? And so it happened. He created the account, I dictated what I wanted — my bottle of wine, my new towels — he found the pictures for it and sent the link to the rest of the family. In ten minutes it was done, and cozy too. All I had to do was lean back.

Dear peers, making a wishlist is not a sign of greed. It is an outreach to the people who love us; we make it easier for them to make us happy. So grab pen and paper, write down what tasty things you want, and let your handiest grandchild put it on that computer. Then we will all have a relaxed Christmas. Happy holidays.

Frequently asked questions

What do you give to grandparents who already have everything?

Something that is consumed (good food, good wine, flowers), a more luxurious version of something everyday, or time together: an outing, a dinner or help in and around the house.

How do grandchildren help grandpa and grandma with an online wishlist?

Have grandpa and grandma write down their wishes on paper and type them together into an online wishlist. Afterwards the whole family can view the list.